2006 Major League Baseball Predictions Based on Emotion and Spite Rather Than Objective Analysis - American League Edition

American League
Eastern Division

1. Boston Red Sox - Clemens should come back and hit Derek Jeter in the face. With his fist. Yeah.
   
2. Toronto Blue Jays - Meh
   
3. Tampa Bay Devil Rays - I wish they would start playing Delmon Young. Scott Kazmir should take another step forward. If B.J. Upton can learn to field the baseball the D-Rays can have one of the most talented young teams in the game.
   
4. Baltimore Orioles - I think this team is a mess.
   
5. New York Yankees - Hereafter known as the Skankees. "It was bound to happen." I will not be surprised when the team plane crashes killing everyone except Scott Proctor
   

Central Division

1. Cleveland Indians - This team has been coming for a while now. Travis Hafner is an absolute stud. Victor Martinez is the best catcher in the game. Jhonny Perralta showed great power at short stop last season, and could be a star for years to come. Grady Sizemore is a 30/30 threat. The pitching staff needs to step up, but I like the Indians to outperform.
   
2. Chicago Whitesox - Can you say "regression to the mean"? Of course the addition of Jim Thome will help tremendously, but I can't see this pitching staff, outside of Buerhle, repeating last years career numbers. Bobby Jenks is fat, and puts all his weight behind his pitches.
   
3. Minnesota Twins - No one will hit Johan Santana. Carlos Silva can be effective as a groundball pitcher, but you would like to see a strike out occassionally. Problem is Radke, Lohse and Barker will get knocked around. Justin Morneau can be awesome and should bounceback from last years disappointing season. Michael Cuddyer needs to live up to the hype.
   
4. Detroit Tigers - A big park and a maturing pitching staff will give the Tigers a chance most days. Jeremy Bonderman, Nate Robertson, and Justin Verlander are all young with high upsides. Kenny Rogers will collect ground outs until he punches a fan or something.
   
5. Kansas City Royals - Some teams should just give up. The Royals are basically a major league farm team. Mike Sweeney is the veteran who mentors the young'uns and David DeJesus is the next guy the Yankees will overpay for.
   

Western Division

1. Oakland Athletics - Personally I think they will have some trouble scoring runs, but Billy Beane is the smartest GM. They have the best pitching staff in baseball. In the second half of the season that is. Watch them play .300 ball until June, then .750 thereafter and lose in the first round of the playoffs. It is written.
   
2. Anaheim Angels - I refuse to call them the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim." Jerks. I also hate them for popularizing those annoying noise maker things people clap together. Will be battling Oakland all season. I think Vlad Guerrero has lost a step, no 40/40 season this year. Casey Kotchman could take a step forward this year and put up a solid .270 25/80. Super Utility player Chone Figgins will probably lead the league in steals and positions played. But Erstad and Garrett Anderson are another year older meaning the offense could have some trouble. The pitching staff should be pretty good. john Lackey took a huge step forward last year and needs to build on that.
   
3. Seattle Mariners - Just let Ichiro hit .400 and leave him alone. This team stinks. This is like the 8th season we are waiting for Gil Meche to turn into a solid player. Jamie Moyer must be 50 years old by now, and if he didnt throw 60mph I expect his arm would fall off.
   
4. Texas Rangers - In the offseason they traded a promising young pitcher in Chris Young for Adam Eaton, who was a promising young pitcher 5 years ago, and has disappointed ever since.